There used to be jokes, inside jokes even....notice how those dwindle. Practically un-heard. I guess I feel like I dont quite fit in somehow anymore, like maybe I am more to be tolerated than enjoyed.

Like I am an annoyance, a hinderance at best, and no I am not reading to far into things it's just how I feel, and you cant fault anyone for that.

I really feel like I don't fit in, I care about a bunch of crap no one else cares about, and no that isn't self-pity, that's the annoying fucking truth of it, and it turns into some hyper-sensitive tight-rope act of being this and being that and finding some ridiculous fucking balance inbetween.

Walking proverbial eggshells.

I have fucked up alot more of this than I have admitted to. For that I apologize. It's left a very unpleasant feeling in my gut. At one point we could tell each other anything...now look at everything that's hidden and kept inside.

For the sake of what?

Yeah, I don't know either.

I literally have no fucking idea, but there I go repeating myself again, and we all know how annoying that can be.

I think I'll just stop now, and shut up. But you know, I really am fucking sorry. Other than that, I don't even know how to say it. I am sorry.......