Ok, WHY.....WHY WHY WHY? The stratling revelations you have in the middle of the night, when the house is dark and it's effin cold. Then you SIT there in mute horror as your thoughts catch up with you.

I always thought you were cooler than me, I STILL think you are. Sometimes I just feel like you don't think I'm so cool anymore. Or maybe just that you'd rather be anywhere but here. I don't blame you..........

I respect you, and I really admire you. Sometimes I feel stupid around you, not your fault but sometimes just my own lack of friendship skills I guess. Am I a crapy friend, or am I just trying to damn hard to walk on eggshells for everyone?

Hell if I know.

Obviously I DON'T or I wouldn't be sitting here.

I get scared, scared that having you here is great, and that soon your going to leave and the someone who is a huge part of my lifeline will be gone. That sucks. But I won't say that, because your not supposed to "cling" to your friends.

Sometimes I think your just flat out irritated with me, and I dont blame you there either. I just wish you would tell me.

I want to move out of this stupid town with you and have a place of our own. I also know you will probably want to leave before that happens.

I feel like I'm making you miserable here, that I am a sad, sick, dissapointment and I am NOT the friend you thought I was. Like I am just way cooler long distance than up close and personal.

That sucks. I never wanted to dissapoint you.

I always wanted to impress you.

Now I'm just upsetting you, and being dramatic and sucking in general.

Way to go me.

So here it is, I am telling you I lvoe you, that you are the best friend I have ever had. No poems, no crap like that....just the honest truth. You will read this, maybe.....who knows. If you choose to say anything back to me or not, well you know who you are, and that's up to you.